3 Bad Ideas

It seems like I want to write about writer’s block on Tuesdays.  Last week I said the misconception about it was that people with writer’s block don’t actually write, but rather write garbage.  That is true ninety percent of the time, but sometimes there is the dreaded blank screen in front of you.  You… Just…. Can’t …..Think…..Of….Anything….   That’s when the garbage surfaces.  I’ve heard from other writers, yes we do get together sometimes in little hobbit holes and admire each other’s grammar mistakes and who can write the best lie down, but I digress…that you just have to get the bad out of the way.  Fortunately I’ve been on a pretty good upswing in creativity lately.  New Rock is coming out in a few weeks, and The Old Lady Detective Agency is cooking as well, and I look forward to getting back to it once I get the business side to being a writer in motion. 

That being said here are this week’s 3 bad ideas:

 

1.        A couple of years ago a movie came out based on the book “Push” by Sapphire called Precious.  I have neither seen the movie nor read the book, so I’m probably the best choice to write a prequel to it called.  “Shut Yo Fat Ass Up!”  the book would be the adventures of Precious’s mother, Mary Jones, and her trials and tribulations in life. She would have to overcome things like stairs, tying her shoes, not being an abusive monster, or that everyone says she should be played by Monique in a movie…Like anyone would ever let Monique be in a movie.

2.       I know, we are all busy reading great fan fiction on the web.  Audiences often find themselvess skipping lunch at work so they can read the new chapter to the increasingly steamy story of Obama and  Kim Jong-Un .  As a writer this presents a new challenge for me…I’m far too much of a snarky aging hipster to actually put the energy into an erotic story in Hogwarts between Neville Longbottom and why he keeps breaking his magic wands.  Plus, I don’t really want to admit to liking anything, because then I wouldn’t be ironic now would I.  So, I’ve come up with an entire new genre of literature:  “Not really a fan fiction”  It’s actually ingenious; I get to still write that sprawling crime story about Guy Fieri killing his stylist in the late 90s and never actually bothering to find a new one and all of the erotic adventures he must undertake to find a lifetime supply of flame shirts and frost for his hair tips, while still maintaining that I really don’t like the guy, but I do like his show.

3.       This is an entirely original intellectual property, a man, let’s call him Johnny Everyman Goodguy has a nice, content life until a problem appears.  He is consumed with this problem until the story reaches a zenith and he realizes that to solve the problem it’s him that has to change, and he does.  This climax of the story has implications and things change for drastically for Johnny Everyman Goodguy during the fallout of his alteration.  Eventually, things come full circle for Johnny and he is back to his nice, content life, but a little wiser.  What’s sad is I bet this is how most Hollywood movies get pitched.

 

 

Today's song of the day is Van Morrison's Cleaning Windows