Let's Play Copy and Paste Reviews for Ryan!

So you meant to write a review for New Rock, but you were too lazy and or busy or you just plain forgot to do it.  I get it.  A lot of people mean to do it, but then life gets in the way.  I’ve had times where I could have helped someone, but didn’t.   The difference is you have a chance for redemption, and I’ll remain a horrible, horrible person.  I’ve decided to make this easy and write the reviews for you.  All you have to do is copy and paste them onto the review section of Amazon.  I’ll include 4 and 5 star reviews.  If you were going to rate it lower than that, you’ll have to write your own damn review.  :)

 

5 Star Reviews

  1.  Me love book.  Book great.

  2.  New Rock is an important book that taught me about life, love, and it helped me organize the piles of dead hookers I store in my basement.

  3. Ryan Herrin is a new and original voice in literature.  He promises to release my pets after posting this.

  4. New Rock is profane, vulgar, full of cheap jokes, and quite frankly, I found it to be distasteful.  But what do I know?  I ate a lot of play-doh as a child, and I’m easily entertained and often confused by Tyler Perry films.

  5. New Rock gave me a burning feeling in my soul.  Not burning like a fire, but more like the kind where you don’t wipe enough.

4 Star Reviews

  1.  Me like book. Book good.

  2. Reading and liking New Rock is like banging an ugly fat person.  I’m not exactly ashamed to admit liking it, but I don’t go around bragging about it.

  3. Yeah I liked the book.  What’s your problem butthead?

  4. Sometimes when I eat popcorn it feels like every space in between my teeth is full of the little stubby pieces at the bottom of the bucket and it’s really uncomfortable.  The kind of uncomfortable where you’re tempted to stop at the grocery store and pick up some floss and handle it right then and there in the parking lot.  New Rock is a book by Ryan Herrin.

  5. There’s a guy living on our couch, and he just won’t leave.  He doesn’t help with the lawn, and he drank all of our beer.  Granted, it was just a cheap IPA, but still.  He could pick up his socks and underwear.  It doesn’t hurt to chip in sometimes Fred!  New Rock is a book that helped me deal with Fred.  Buy it!